She just used a chaser for red wine.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
