I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
