My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
