I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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