are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
