WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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