He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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