You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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