he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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