so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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