why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
