Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
