2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
