wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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