It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Randomize
