I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
