Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize