At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm both gender and math confused
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
