He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
