im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
