your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize