standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
