she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
