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Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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