It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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