Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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