My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
