Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
