So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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