How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
