tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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