is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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