Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
