..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
