After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
