my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
