we have officially lost it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Randomize
