I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
