the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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