My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just gift wrapped bread.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
