I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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