do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
