Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
