whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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