just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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