I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
