Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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