Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
