I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize