I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
