this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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