We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
