I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
