On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
