i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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