hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Bring me that man meat
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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